The evil video-director genius behind those crazed, inexplicable videos for Aphex Twin - notably the completely messed-up 'Come to Daddy', which I still suffer fits from having seen - gives an interview.

He is a depraved, godless abomination of a man and to prove that point he's posted a disturbing picture to accompany the interview. Whatever you do don't click through and then un-blur the image, because what awaits you is pretty grim, real or not. Not quite goatse, it'll still leave you upset and likely to throw up any digested food, even if you haven't eaten for a week.

But it didn't upset me, because I could out Cunningham Chris any day of the week. People think he's weird and creepy with a mind like the unnatural love-child of John Waters and David Lynch, but unlike me they don't sleep in their father's grave at night, eat their dead twin's genitalia for dinner, and shower in diseased rat's urine! Out freak that Mr Cunningham! I'd like to see it!

Actually, it turns out he's rather a spiffing chap, partial to the odd cup of peppermint tea, and invests lots of money into helping orphaned ponies. Or something like that.

He likes cheap looking pr0n anyway, so you'll have something in common.

Noses, they help us inhale and exhale air so we can live, and they help us smell. That's pretty much it you would've thought. Well you're wrong, because they can also stop a speeding bullet. That's right, like some sort of walk-through-walls, death-defying kung-fu master, sitting right there in the middle of your face.

How is this possible, I hear you ask? Figuratively hear you anyway. Did the man in question have Superman's bogeys up his nose? Did he have a heavy weekend on the devil's dandruff? Neither, it's something far more mundane that we're all capable of.

Why not try it out for yourselves? It could be a neat party trick, we all know girls like childish party tricks, right? Nothing says I'm mature, future husband material - so you might want to spend the night with me and share fluids - like an overgrown frat boy shooting a 9mm Cuno Melcher up his nose from point blank range. So go on, give it a try!

What's the worst that could happen?